Friday, April 28, 2006

The Workweek Rant

Manic Monday:
I'm not ready for this. Two days is not nearly enough time to recuperate from last week. I wish I was Costanza. I'd say I'm at an all-day meeting and be asleep under my desk the whole time.

Ode to Tuesday:
Dear Tuesday, you suck too.

Wednesday Woes:
Why don't we just get Wednesdays off? What purpose does this day serve? And why is it spelled in this way? It's pronounced "Wensday". It's the only day of the week that's doesn't sound like it's spelled. For this reason alone, it should be a day of rest.

Optimistic Thursday:
Ok, I'm back in the swing of this. I can totally handle this work thing. And one more day 'til the weekend! Piece of cake.

The Friday Vortex:
Why is my Friday always so damn hectic??...I spend the whole week behind on everything and think I can catch up a little bit on Friday. Yes, that will be the day I will tie up MY loose ends...but no, apparently everyone else has the same idea. So what you have is all these people trying to catch up on their work, having gone in circles all week, and then it all gets sucked into this one day we call Friday. The Vortex. I am going to start leaving an away message on my voicemail particularly for Friday. "I'm sorry, but today is Friday and, like you, I am also trying to catch up on my work. I will not be able to answer your request today. Press nothing. Hang up, and call back on Monday unless you are returning my phone call and I need something from you. Otherwise, do not attempt to reach me in any way. If you waited all week to get your problem resolved, then one more day clearly won't hurt you. Thank You and Have a Nice Day." This day has the perfect name. It is my Fried-Day.

In summary, I think we should only have to work one day a week: Thursday. Write your congressman in support of this new legislation.

And while we all wait for this new law to take effect, here's a note you can use to excuse your absence:


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