May I Help You?

Whenever you are simply browsing and need no "help" from a salesperson, a salesperson is on you like white on rice. Making small talk as though you're long lost friends and commenting on anything you either touch, brush past, or look towards. "Oh, ma'am, I saw you look at that pink sweater for a brief second, let me tell you it's the hottest thing in the store, it would look great on you. What size are you, let me see, I'd say "small" (They say that to everyone). Oh, here it is. And let's grab the "large"...just in case you prefer a roomier fit." Would you like me to start a fitting room for you?"

But whenever you actually need help, you can't find a salesperson to save your life.

Is this a conspiracy? Is this a segment of the training video they have to watch in the orientation?: "How to Become Invisible When You are Needed", inconspicuously inserted somewhere between "How to Spot a Shoplifter" and the segment called "The Proper Way to Fold T-Shirts so that the Customer will invariably have to mess them all up just to see the size and price, thus giving you job security for life".